They’re out there. Everywhere, everyday- they are inevitable. Why do most of us fall into them, aid them and abet them? Because we’re trained to do so, relentlessly preached to- daily. Was that redundant? Good.
Like my cousin for instance: he is under the impression that riding a bike is embarrassing. He’ll drive a death-trap-jalopy-with-expired-tags-and-incontrollable-exhaust-problems (which landed him in the eslammer), but he can’t be seen riding a bike because somehow that diminishes his manhood. WTF? Apparently it is very uncool to ride a bike to places in Miami, which I find curious ‘cause I just read an article that stated that Miami is one of the listed “bike-friendly” cities in the country. How is riding a bike worse than driving a jalopy? And what exactly is “manhood” to him I wonder. Isn’t manhood the capability of handling your own business honorably to the best of your abilities? Isn’t it respecting others as you’d like to be respected? What do I know though, I don’t have a penis- remember? Some of the hottest dudes I’ve ever seen are avid bike-riders, riding to work, errands and stuff. And part of the “hotness” isn’t only the fact that they are usually in much better physical shape than your average car-driving dude (jalopy or newest released vehicle), but their seemingly relaxed outlook on Life, from the relaxed clothes to the attitude. Maybe I’ve just met the really cool guys that bike.
Like dressing for the office- in Atlanta the big-whigs do not allow anything less than “business casual” when it comes to dress policy (according to their Memos)- and business casual varies just a little bit based on the various outfit chosen by the the little people running around there. Countless times the big-whigs have sent out highly urgent memos; which are heeded for about a week after their distribution date; detailing what ladies can and cannot wear to work. Still some “ladies” insist on wearing their “club shoes” up into the Bank, and others insist on sporting their house-shoes while at the Bank- one in particular used to just go around barefoot. Ewwwwh. Noone wants to see your freaky-ass toe ring and irisdescent purple toe-paint. Please! Can’t we instate a closed-toe shoe policy in here? I mean, already it's forbidden for people to wear tank-tops, isn’t forbidding open toe shoes and sandals the next obvious move? Does it really matter what people wear in the end though? Does a suit make you a better banker? Full disclosure: I do have a soft spot for a man in an immaculate suit, down to the cufflinks and the buffed shoes- NO tassels though- ever. But realistically speaking, it seems- and again feeding my own misconceptions- that a guy that needs that much time simply to cover his nakedness EVERY morning would just be- not my type at the end of the day.
Like dating people and stuff- just ‘cause I’m sleeping with you doesn’t mean I love you, and conversely just ‘cause I love you doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with you. I mean who keeps reinforcing these misconceptions, oh yeah- I do it too. Damn! I’m gonna quit though- I swear. How does dating get so complicated? I think it’s due, in part, to all those estoopid books and “advise” out there. And then there are the people dating, reinforcing these misconceptions every step of the way. I won’t call her for a week- that’ll make her want me. Yeah? That’ll make me want to punch you next time I see you. Did I mention I’m a little bit violent? Vas once said to me; “I was told to always leave them wanting more.” That, after my observing that he wasn’t putting out enough. Who in the world would say that to him? And why? Perhaps a bitter friend or ex, trying to stunt his emotional and overall growth as a man thru copious sexcapades? If I were a guy, my motto would be to always leave them so satisfied, that they would barely keep their hands off of me the next time they saw me. Then again, I’d do so many things differently if I were a guy. Why, I could even stand over any toilet I ever encountered if I were a guy, don’t you know?
Like my cousin for instance: he is under the impression that riding a bike is embarrassing. He’ll drive a death-trap-jalopy-with-expired-tags-and-incontrollable-exhaust-problems (which landed him in the eslammer), but he can’t be seen riding a bike because somehow that diminishes his manhood. WTF? Apparently it is very uncool to ride a bike to places in Miami, which I find curious ‘cause I just read an article that stated that Miami is one of the listed “bike-friendly” cities in the country. How is riding a bike worse than driving a jalopy? And what exactly is “manhood” to him I wonder. Isn’t manhood the capability of handling your own business honorably to the best of your abilities? Isn’t it respecting others as you’d like to be respected? What do I know though, I don’t have a penis- remember? Some of the hottest dudes I’ve ever seen are avid bike-riders, riding to work, errands and stuff. And part of the “hotness” isn’t only the fact that they are usually in much better physical shape than your average car-driving dude (jalopy or newest released vehicle), but their seemingly relaxed outlook on Life, from the relaxed clothes to the attitude. Maybe I’ve just met the really cool guys that bike.
Like dressing for the office- in Atlanta the big-whigs do not allow anything less than “business casual” when it comes to dress policy (according to their Memos)- and business casual varies just a little bit based on the various outfit chosen by the the little people running around there. Countless times the big-whigs have sent out highly urgent memos; which are heeded for about a week after their distribution date; detailing what ladies can and cannot wear to work. Still some “ladies” insist on wearing their “club shoes” up into the Bank, and others insist on sporting their house-shoes while at the Bank- one in particular used to just go around barefoot. Ewwwwh. Noone wants to see your freaky-ass toe ring and irisdescent purple toe-paint. Please! Can’t we instate a closed-toe shoe policy in here? I mean, already it's forbidden for people to wear tank-tops, isn’t forbidding open toe shoes and sandals the next obvious move? Does it really matter what people wear in the end though? Does a suit make you a better banker? Full disclosure: I do have a soft spot for a man in an immaculate suit, down to the cufflinks and the buffed shoes- NO tassels though- ever. But realistically speaking, it seems- and again feeding my own misconceptions- that a guy that needs that much time simply to cover his nakedness EVERY morning would just be- not my type at the end of the day.
Like dating people and stuff- just ‘cause I’m sleeping with you doesn’t mean I love you, and conversely just ‘cause I love you doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with you. I mean who keeps reinforcing these misconceptions, oh yeah- I do it too. Damn! I’m gonna quit though- I swear. How does dating get so complicated? I think it’s due, in part, to all those estoopid books and “advise” out there. And then there are the people dating, reinforcing these misconceptions every step of the way. I won’t call her for a week- that’ll make her want me. Yeah? That’ll make me want to punch you next time I see you. Did I mention I’m a little bit violent? Vas once said to me; “I was told to always leave them wanting more.” That, after my observing that he wasn’t putting out enough. Who in the world would say that to him? And why? Perhaps a bitter friend or ex, trying to stunt his emotional and overall growth as a man thru copious sexcapades? If I were a guy, my motto would be to always leave them so satisfied, that they would barely keep their hands off of me the next time they saw me. Then again, I’d do so many things differently if I were a guy. Why, I could even stand over any toilet I ever encountered if I were a guy, don’t you know?
2 comments:
Charlotte es para idiotas y personas que tiene mucho amore para los vehiculos NASCAR
I'm gonna impale you when I get back to Atlanta. I think you truly are obssessed w/ NASCAR- that's all you talk about these days. I'll buy you an all day pass to the Lowe's Motor Speed Way for when you come visit Fruit.
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