GH called me last night in a hissy because I don’t care about his well being he claims. He is in Mississippi helping out with the dead- or trying to anyway. Since Katrina, his company had been unable to communicate with the local funeral homes in the affected areas and decided to deploy Atlanta funeral directors/embalmers/dead people handlers over to help out with the mounting casualties. So he and others from his funeral home got deployed this past Sunday. Those going along with GH did not have much information other than it “might be like a camping trip so bring your own sleeping bag- oh, and here’s a van fill it up with stuff you can collect from your neighbors and get down there pronto!”
So Monday night rolls around and he called complaining about his lack of real friends or even a soul who cares about his whereabouts or well being. What? I was busy finishing For Whom The Bell Tolls along with a bottle o’ wine my neighbor brought me from Chile last month! Jeeesus. Anyway, he reported that the medical examiner’s office is holding the majority of the bodies and so he and his Atlanta dead-bodies-handlers-posse haven’t done much. He says it’s chaos and no one knows what’s going on- for the most part. They finally got a call reporting 4 dead bodies on the roof of the K-Mart and off they went to retrieve them and do what they do, but they got there climbed up on the roof and there were no bodies he says. “Did you go to the right K-Mart?” I asked, he said it’s the only one in the area. Who kids about bodies on the roof of the K-Mart? Oh, yeah, people devastated by natural catastrophes, they have to have their fun too I guess.
So after the false bodies report they decided they all needed to bathe (not together or anything like that just collectively). The only place with running water, they were told, was the local prison. He said the shower facilities were extraordinary for a prison, green tarp for shower curtain and all. In addition to running water they made out with prison fried chicken. They hadn’t eaten for a ½ a day either so the prison chicken was good, although they threw the remnants away before they got back to camp- they were embarrassed at having had eaten prison chicken he said.
So Monday night rolls around and he called complaining about his lack of real friends or even a soul who cares about his whereabouts or well being. What? I was busy finishing For Whom The Bell Tolls along with a bottle o’ wine my neighbor brought me from Chile last month! Jeeesus. Anyway, he reported that the medical examiner’s office is holding the majority of the bodies and so he and his Atlanta dead-bodies-handlers-posse haven’t done much. He says it’s chaos and no one knows what’s going on- for the most part. They finally got a call reporting 4 dead bodies on the roof of the K-Mart and off they went to retrieve them and do what they do, but they got there climbed up on the roof and there were no bodies he says. “Did you go to the right K-Mart?” I asked, he said it’s the only one in the area. Who kids about bodies on the roof of the K-Mart? Oh, yeah, people devastated by natural catastrophes, they have to have their fun too I guess.
So after the false bodies report they decided they all needed to bathe (not together or anything like that just collectively). The only place with running water, they were told, was the local prison. He said the shower facilities were extraordinary for a prison, green tarp for shower curtain and all. In addition to running water they made out with prison fried chicken. They hadn’t eaten for a ½ a day either so the prison chicken was good, although they threw the remnants away before they got back to camp- they were embarrassed at having had eaten prison chicken he said.
2 comments:
You wrote this at 3:00? Aren't you supposed to be working at that time? I'm gonna tell Napoleon about this. Ha Ha
How was the wine? I'm always looking for a good wine. Bring a good bottle of wine to a chicks house and you're that much closer to getting laid.
The Smoking Loon wine worked for me. But I kinda cheated. I already knew she liked it.
Anyway, I still have 2 bottles here at home and the last chick is outta the picture now. Maybe the next chick will never have heard of Smoking Loon and I'll look suave and sophisticated - AND GET LAID AGAIN.
Who is thiS??? I'm gonna ban you if you talk about smoking loons again.
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