Even the best laid plans are sometimes bound to have inlaid faults. We are moving offices this weekend and although the plans and preparation have been in the making for quite a while now, I see potential for major fuck-ups in several areas- but hey, the big guys are in charge of logistics. That’s why they get paid the big bucks it appears. The big guys decreed three different days as “casual days” as an incentive to get people purging (no, not puking but rather ridding oneself of no-longer-needed-files-papers-and-random-stuff), packing and thus making a smooth move from our current office to the new one a couple of miles around the bend. Casual meant, allowed to wear jeans, capris, t-shirts but no shorts, sandals or tank-tops- thank Jesus we still adhere to some kind of standard, there are lots of peoples here whom I’d rather not see in shorts nor tank-tops. Two casual days have come and gone.
As with any relaxing of rules, people tend to overstep the casualness of it all and miss the entire point for being allowed to be casual to begin with, meaning lots of people dressed down but did almost everything under the fluorescent lights other than pack and purge or purge and pack. So now we’re down to –2 days and there’s shit everywhere. In addition to semi-purged file cabinets, piles of files 10 feet high, there are now zillions of orange crates everywhere, in every room, every corner, every hallway. Apparently the big guys heard from some employees that there seemed to be too many orange crates so one of them sent out a highly official memo stating that “While it appears to be an enormous number of the above crates, the number was calculated using a highly scientific formula which does not allow for inefficient packing.” I’m glad we’re putting our moving money (aka my bonus) to good use, highly efficient formulas- that’s big time!
There seems to be no end in sight. I am in charge of packing tons of shit/files no one seems to know what we’re required to do with. We asked our “compliance officer” and she said she’d “find out.” No word yet. To me that means one thing: shred baby, shred. Shred like it is Enron’s second coming and answer questions later. Really what I’ll do is pack everything and send it to storage marked for destruction in the year 2025, that ought to be more than sufficient time for those files to marinate in nothingness into thin air since I doubt they’ll ever be recalled from whatever dark warehouse they end up in.
And in the midst of all this- collections is raging on as it is also the last day of the month and the deadbeats doing business with our department continue to show us all that they have no intention of changing their ways, ever.
As with any relaxing of rules, people tend to overstep the casualness of it all and miss the entire point for being allowed to be casual to begin with, meaning lots of people dressed down but did almost everything under the fluorescent lights other than pack and purge or purge and pack. So now we’re down to –2 days and there’s shit everywhere. In addition to semi-purged file cabinets, piles of files 10 feet high, there are now zillions of orange crates everywhere, in every room, every corner, every hallway. Apparently the big guys heard from some employees that there seemed to be too many orange crates so one of them sent out a highly official memo stating that “While it appears to be an enormous number of the above crates, the number was calculated using a highly scientific formula which does not allow for inefficient packing.” I’m glad we’re putting our moving money (aka my bonus) to good use, highly efficient formulas- that’s big time!
There seems to be no end in sight. I am in charge of packing tons of shit/files no one seems to know what we’re required to do with. We asked our “compliance officer” and she said she’d “find out.” No word yet. To me that means one thing: shred baby, shred. Shred like it is Enron’s second coming and answer questions later. Really what I’ll do is pack everything and send it to storage marked for destruction in the year 2025, that ought to be more than sufficient time for those files to marinate in nothingness into thin air since I doubt they’ll ever be recalled from whatever dark warehouse they end up in.
And in the midst of all this- collections is raging on as it is also the last day of the month and the deadbeats doing business with our department continue to show us all that they have no intention of changing their ways, ever.
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