I haven’t yet given Gaston, or Ms. Thing -who will be renamed as of today- her new name is: Ms. Hood- the address to the blog, but I did mention it to them both. Both their panties are wound tightly (and I say this from observation only as I have never seen Gaston in panties. And Ms. Hood, well the only reason I saw her in panties was because her gay girlfriend undressed her one night after Ms. Hood passed out from having three drinks with us while we consumed enough alcohol to poison 2 overweight rhinoceroses. Seeing as I was far from home and quite unable to drive, I called my then boyfriend and he came and picked me up- awww… sweet love…. According to Ms. Hood, “nothing happened” after I left, but what does she know, we had to have a bouncer help us carry her limp ass out of the club thru the backdoor to our waiting car when she slinked off of her stool while still in the club. Wait! Come to think of it, I have seen Gaston in women's lingerie, he dressed up as a very unattractive woman for last Halloween’s office costume contest- I think he won $25 for that and spent $80 on that hideous Target brand shit).
So they are both very eager to see what I’ve written thus far, and since there isn’t much on here yet, I feel they should wait- plus I like torturing them both. I have to find new entertainment since my beau does not respond to my frantic mating calls; torturing these two will have to do for now.
We had our little threesome lunch yesterday and not only caught up with all we had missed from each others happening lives, but also celebrated Ms. Hood’s birthday. And did we ever divulge too much information to each other! Well they did; I just laughed and pointed like an incompetent fool on account I have nothing new to add and they are both intimately familiar with my failed attempts at wooing my man despite my constant text messaging, incessant emailing, occasional calling and unexpected visiting- oh well. Do I sound bitter? I already told you I’m not, really……..
So the two lovebirds (aka lustbirds) I introduced you to last week have progressed sexually as well as space-sharing wise. While Gaston’s last failed-attempt-at-everlasting-love thought he was “moving too fast” simply ‘cause he left a measly shaving kit underneath her bathroom sink, his new-love has not only cleared space for him in her bathroom but also cleared drawer-space for him in her bedroom! "Is she moving too fast?" I asked. “Well, we’ve been dating for a while so it’s ok,” was his noncommittal response. Wait! So this new chick can clear space in her house for you and expect you to fill it up and thus spend the night during the week and I can’t take a simple 1,000 mile flight to my beau’s show to surprise him and let him know I really like him? How does that work!?!?! Oops, there I go being self-absorbed again- mental note: ‘Stop being self-absorved, oh! and stop being a borderline stalker too.’
Gaston’s new love is a great time apparently. She does all those things that guys like and stuff, and yeah- use your imagination- I’m sure you’ve got one after all those lonely nights spent at home alone. Wait- there I go projecting again.
So they are both very eager to see what I’ve written thus far, and since there isn’t much on here yet, I feel they should wait- plus I like torturing them both. I have to find new entertainment since my beau does not respond to my frantic mating calls; torturing these two will have to do for now.
We had our little threesome lunch yesterday and not only caught up with all we had missed from each others happening lives, but also celebrated Ms. Hood’s birthday. And did we ever divulge too much information to each other! Well they did; I just laughed and pointed like an incompetent fool on account I have nothing new to add and they are both intimately familiar with my failed attempts at wooing my man despite my constant text messaging, incessant emailing, occasional calling and unexpected visiting- oh well. Do I sound bitter? I already told you I’m not, really……..
So the two lovebirds (aka lustbirds) I introduced you to last week have progressed sexually as well as space-sharing wise. While Gaston’s last failed-attempt-at-everlasting-love thought he was “moving too fast” simply ‘cause he left a measly shaving kit underneath her bathroom sink, his new-love has not only cleared space for him in her bathroom but also cleared drawer-space for him in her bedroom! "Is she moving too fast?" I asked. “Well, we’ve been dating for a while so it’s ok,” was his noncommittal response. Wait! So this new chick can clear space in her house for you and expect you to fill it up and thus spend the night during the week and I can’t take a simple 1,000 mile flight to my beau’s show to surprise him and let him know I really like him? How does that work!?!?! Oops, there I go being self-absorbed again- mental note: ‘Stop being self-absorved, oh! and stop being a borderline stalker too.’
Gaston’s new love is a great time apparently. She does all those things that guys like and stuff, and yeah- use your imagination- I’m sure you’ve got one after all those lonely nights spent at home alone. Wait- there I go projecting again.
Gaston would flip if I typed all he said yesterday, and Gaston’s new love-interest would do more than flip if she found out he talks about it with us. But then so would Ms. Hood’s husband and my beau, even though he’s not really my beau anymore. That one month was so magical though…..sighhhhh.
No, really these two, feeling slightly guilty at all the information they let escape their mouths, try to in turn allege all these events between me and my beau on my last visit to him. I told them I flew in to visit him, caught his show, said hello and then went for a drink with him and a couple friend of his who will be married July 30th and had said they needed to speak with him that night. So there we are sitting the four of us, to any unsuspecting eye it may have looked like an innocent double-date or something when in reality cowbell guy, that’s what I’ll call my failed beau now, was maybe sitting there thinking “How do I rid myself of this here psycho?”
We parted ways, his friends and us and we drove to my hotel where we sat outside for an hour or two discussing the reason for my unexpected visit. How to explain to him what had compelled me to make that rash decision? I tried and thought I did, nevertheless, he did not see it my way and shut off he did. And here I am trying to forget it all, thinking that if I talk about it enough away these feelings will go.
These two think I went up there to sleep with him, and while I would have if the opportunity had been there, if it would’ve progressed to that, and it could have, it can always progress to that, they are men after all- that was not the reason for my flight up there and I didn’t. But if it makes Ms. Hood and Gaston feel better thinking I did then let them think it I say.
I’ll let them sweat it a bit longer and perhaps they’ll have nightmares (insert evil laugh here). What else is there to write about but those who surround you all the time. Stay tuned for more incoherent thoughts to come.
These two think I went up there to sleep with him, and while I would have if the opportunity had been there, if it would’ve progressed to that, and it could have, it can always progress to that, they are men after all- that was not the reason for my flight up there and I didn’t. But if it makes Ms. Hood and Gaston feel better thinking I did then let them think it I say.
I’ll let them sweat it a bit longer and perhaps they’ll have nightmares (insert evil laugh here). What else is there to write about but those who surround you all the time. Stay tuned for more incoherent thoughts to come.
1 comment:
WTF?
Post a Comment