Review #4

What else to name these excursions? And I say excursions because I actually left the confines of my hood to meet some people from work this weekend. I usually don’t hang much with the guys at work but I’m curious to see the new guys in their true element since I will be spending much time with them in the near future.

This weekend included drunken locals, denied entry into the neighborhood hangout (not for me but poor ol’ Vas- they’d let me in even if they were at capacity; they’d just kick a non-regular out. Vas didn’t know he could do that though- we’re gonna have to forward him the new rules so he may always have access to his Mooseheads and his dartboard over there).

Friday included a visit to the local Thai and Sushi place- an event planned by one of our local/crazy friends, or is it crazy/local? Anyway, she decided she needed to get a bunch of people together with intentions of playing Cupid some (she wants the neighbor and the neighbor wants somebody else and who knows who the somebody else wants) and maybe mixing her bag of friends up for some “interesting” conversation. While some of the conversation was indeed “interesting” I also found some of it trite and quite retarded- but hey, you can’t pick your friend’s friends. I missed the best part ‘cause I was late again. The food, stolen calamari and tuna sushi from other people, and the sake were REALLY good.

We went to the Earl where I found much more interesting conversation with DANG, a local celebrity at the EAV. The Earl doorguy wouldn’t let me in because I don’t have an ID since the carjack attempt, but the manager came out and kindly let me in “only that one time” since he knew I was there to “spend money.” Yeaay, they got all of $10 bucks for the 3 PBR’s I drank. See, the Thai place has the unfiltered sake, which I like ‘cause it kicks your ass when you least expect it. Dang has the silliest jokes and some really good stories from back when he used to raise pigs in a farm over in Wisconsin I think. He raised a whole herd of pigs and had to leave in the middle of the night one night when he could no longer keep telling the farmers that the pigs weren’t “ready yet.” He said he couldn’t stay to watch the pigs get murdered, ‘cause the pigs were his friends and they used to “fuck” with him when he was on acid. They even untied his shoelaces one time to try to make him trip (no pun intended).

As noted in the previous post, there has been a wave of armed robberies in our hood, so DANG kept saying he was almost afraid to walk home by himself, he’s also been mugged and has walked up on people getting mugged, he once chased the muggers into the dark park with no gun himself one time, but he says he probably won’t be doing that again. Vas showed up at some point ‘cause he was tired of painting his bathroom (yeah, that’s what he calls it these days). We eventually snuck out of the Earl since the group I had come with seemed to be involved in some group therapy and were in the process of hugging and patting and crying or some crazy shit. By the time we walked over to the neighborhood hangout there was just enough room to let us in so the night ended there with more PBR’s and darts and barely making it into the car. The PBR’s are always good at the neighborhood joint- highly recommend them. Also, Ms. Ash- the coolest bartender in the EAV, offers free protection if ever there are yuppie-frat-boys trying to make estoopid conversation, she told one guy that if he was trying to pick me up he needed a how-to-book-for-dummies. I guess I wouldn’t think it was funny if she was to tell me that, but she wasn’t talking to me so it was really funny.

Saturday included a fundraiser for Katrina pets. Not only did I witness a dancing, masturbating chipmunk, which I later spotted at Mary’s paying a very high tab while screaming “Did I drink this much?” but also saw a decapitated, overgrown kitten and a half-woman-half-kitten simulating fellatio on unsuspecting attendants. It was insane, but they had free wine and some really good food- oh, and some really cute puppies too. The neighbor and I went to Halo to meet the work people after this but ended up leaving after one drink. That place is just…… estoopid really. A bunch of too-cool-for-school peeps coked out and who knows what else gyrating and grinding into the many willing girl-assess all over the place. The bathrooms are cool though, unless you get trapped in there with a loudly snorting bunch taking up all the room by the sink. We left Halo, glad to be in the clean air outside and made it back to the neighborhood place for more PBR and a little homegrown drama and made it into Mary’s just as everyone was getting kicked out. Made home just in time to jump onto the couch with my lonely dog. She doesn’t like it when I leave her but hey- she’s got a much better life not having been euthanised at the dog pound back in the day of her rescue.

Sunday was just a long day of laundry and weird movies. Vas lent me Being John Malkovich and the neighbor brought Donnie Darko over- WTF? I’m supposed to be watching movies for mindless entertainment not to catch glimpses of dealing with mortality and the possibilities of being able to inhabit people’s head in order to live forever. And what the hell was that on top of Charlie Sheen’s head? No wonder his wife left him once she saw what he’d look like in old age.